The Only Puddles Here Are My Tears

Places I Have Found To Hide In The Air Conditioning:

  1. SOME Cafes, (I hate to say it, but franchises are cheaper and have a better chance of being air conditioned) BONUS: Iced Coffee
  2. Museums, (Museum of Oxford is a personal favorite) BONUS: Make Friends (Like the retired teacher from Australia or the old Taiwanese couple I met today)
  3. Libraries/Book Shops, (pretty much all books need to be kept cool and so do the pale people who stay inside reading them) BONUS: um, books—obviously—and, also usually Iced Coffee

I was promised rain. Instead, I’m on my third sunburn, and risk death from heat exhaustion after walking 13 miles in temperatures that spiked above 90 in London. So, while my umbrella sits alone in a dark desk drawer, I have had to wash every pair of shorts I brought twice now, and I can’t wear anymore tank tops for fear the skin on my shoulders will actually cook itself. At dinner, a graduate of Trinity told us no less than 5 times that the weather was “all off” due to the ice caps melting, and when it’s more than 80 degrees every day I can start to believe maybe there ARE NO ICE CAPS LEFT.

It’s a good thing I bought a lens filter before I left, because otherwise, Canon would get a bad rep for snapping me 300 pictures of nothing but sun glare.  As it is, all those whimsical fairy lights on my pictures of Big Ben and Buckingham Palace are in fact remnants of the hell fire descending upon us from the sky.  When I walked into Paddington station, where the skylights were like magnifying glasses lighting us ant-humans on fire, I wanted to call bullshit on that bear in his little jacket and rain boots. If he was out there in his fur coat, I’d be willing to bet he’d have sacrificed all the marmalade in England for some rain.

Now don’t get me wrong: Oxford is B E A U T I F U L, and I had planned on burning to a crisp on our trip to Italy, but never had I imagined that I (with my direct family ties to the Mayflower) would have to worry about frying like a full English breakfast on a stroll along the pleasant cobblestones of Oxford.



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